A rant on technology

This will not be my typical calm exposition.  I need to vent. I need to rave.  Skip this unless you are willing to listen to me be a bit nuts.  We have too much technology.  It rules us; it sets expectations; it makes us do things we don't need or want to do and then, I swear, it laughs at us as it dashes anticipations and hopes.  We make technology to do things it need not do, become dependent on it for doing it, lose our abilities to do for ourselves, and then feel inadequate when it fails us and it always does when we need it.  Grrrrrrrr


I am used to my GPS failing me.  I know it is limited.  I am amazed it can do as much as it can and I am at peace with its limitations here in the country where there are few roads and fewer people.  And while I am dependent on my GPS to be my copilot on these trips, I don't expect it to be better than a human and I have multiple backups.  So, I use it, I am amazed by it, I allow it to be wrong when it is without getting angry.  OK.

Life is about setting expectations.  I know what to expect with my GPS.  But...car engines, I know nothing about car engines.  And I am on a road trip and need my car to work.  I need to take care of it so it provides for me.  I bought a Lexus and subscribe to "Ensure" so that I would have ZERO problems on the road.  I expect ZERO problems - and if I have a problem I expect help from the sky.

But, as I turned on my car in Black Mesa, after the innkeeper kindly funneled 2.5 gallons of gas in my tank and I was feeling confident and reassured that all was well, a warning came onto my car dash.  This was NOT a warning light flashing danger.  This was an imperative: "Oil maintenance necessary".  And to reinforce this command, my GPS screen showed me the Lexus Dealership contact information in watertown and said, contact LEXUS IMMEDIATELY.

Everything in my rational mind said this was NOTHING.  I had had my car checked before leaving Boston.  It was at 7000 miles.  My next routine checkup was to be at 12000 miles.  I had driven 5000 on this trip by this point.  Bingo.  Time for the next routine checkup.  That's all the car was telling me.  Right? Right? But the message wasn't, "time for a routine check-up.  Call your dealership".  No, it was OIL MAINTENANCE NECESSARY.  It didn't say, NOW, but I could hear it.  NOW.  NOW.  OR ELSE!  But I was in Black Mesa hundreds of miles from the closest Lexus dealership and what if this was not a suggestion to get a routine checkup but what if it was really a command - if you don't get more oil in your engine it will SEIZE up on you in the middle of goddamn nowhere where it is 100 degrees and you are alone.  ALONE.

OK.  Now I am 99% sure the message meant nothing, but that nagging 1% could NOT get out of my imagination.  I stop and look in my owner's manual.  Nothing.  Every other message possible.  Nothing on this one.  A 500 page manual and NOTHING. So I set off for Boise City, the closest town, 40 miles away, thinking that I might be killing my car as I continued down the road.  I could imagine the engine getting hotter and hotter.  I could imagine metal heating and bending.  I could hear it.  Then...technology to the rescue.  I remembered I could USE technology to calm me and override the technology that was provoking this anxiety.  I have satellite SOS.  I have a button on the top of my visor that calls a Lexus emergency assistant.  A button.  Right here.  I'll call them and ask about the message.  Do I need to worry.  they can reassure me it is nothing or tell me to stop the car and they will send help.  Perfect.  Done.  I am saved.

Or not.  I hit the button.  An agent came on.  I explained the problem.  She said...she said...she disappeared.  I am in the middle of nowhere - wide open spaces - clear shot to the blue sky.    What the F(^*&^.  How can the satellite go out?  OK.  Calm down.  Keep driving.  Try again.  Press the button.  Here she is.  Great.  What is she saying - here's a cellphone number in case we get cut off?  Is she nuts?  If the satellite doesn't work she thinks I'll have cell reception??  Does she understand that there is NOTHING here?  There are no cell towers.  There are NO PEOPLE!  She thinks a cellphone will work if the satellite doesn't.  Great.  Oops.  She's off again.  No *%(* loss.  No f(^*^ help anyway.

I pull into Boise City and find a car repair shop.  A wonderful, knowledgeable man.  He checks my oil.  It is fine.  He looks on his computer to see if he can turn off the warning light.  He is so comfortable around cars.  Tells me not to worry.  We decide to call Lexus from his phone.  After 10 minutes I get to a message at the Oklahoma City Lexus service center.  Everyone is at lunch.  Please call back in an hour...

The Boise City mechanic assures me the message was a reminder, not a warning.   I drive off.  As I go, I find a switch on my steering wheel.  It erases the command off my dashboard.  Now I am fine.  Nothing commanding me to do anything.  My car is fine.  I'm a bit upset to learn my failsafe against accidents, the on-star satellite system that informs emergency help if I am in an accident, doesn't always work, but I am not often anyplace this deserted.

But tell me, why does the car have to command me to bring it for routine service NOW!   How is that helpful?  Wouldn't a reminder email be more effective?  The technology exists.  It could, after all have a link to the service manager.  And now I know there is no perfect protection.  Even the satellite link sometimes doesn't work.  (Why don't they simply admit that when they sell it to you.)  I will complain to Lexus when I get home.  I may arrange for a routine service when I get to Asheville.  Don't know yet.  But I am here.  I am safe.  I've overcome no thanks to technology, but rather to a very nice, clearly competent human being.  God bless.